{"id":276,"date":"2016-08-23T12:59:31","date_gmt":"2016-08-23T19:59:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/agoodhurt.com\/monology\/?p=276"},"modified":"2016-08-23T12:59:31","modified_gmt":"2016-08-23T19:59:31","slug":"the-barricade","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/agoodhurt.com\/monology\/the-barricade\/","title":{"rendered":"THE BARRICADE"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"The Barricade\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/179946945?dnt=1&amp;app_id=122963\" width=\"474\" height=\"267\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"autoplay; fullscreen; picture-in-picture; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">EXTENDED VERSION<\/p>\n<p><strong>[A man in his mid-forties. He wears a suit unbuttoned at the collar, without a tie. He appears stressed, even tormented. There are big bags under his eyes]<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8220;My wife and I were trying to conceive for years.<\/p>\n<p>When all the other options failed we resorted to adoption.<\/p>\n<p>After months of waiting, we were assigned to a young couple not able to care for their unborn baby\u2026 a boy.<\/p>\n<p>The adoption agency said we could take him home right after the delivery, that the parents preferred it that way.<\/p>\n<p>And so the baby was born on a Sunday night&#8230; and we were driving him home from the hospital by Monday at dawn.<\/p>\n<p>We were so excited\u2026 especially my wife.<\/p>\n<p>I was happy too, of course\u2026 but I was still getting used to it\u2026 you know, to the idea that from one moment to the next I was a father, that I was supposed to have a connection with this baby\u2026.<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t have it yet, but I was confident I\u2019d get there\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Then, just a few weeks later, we found the baby unconscious in his crib; he was very weak, pale\u2026 we rushed him to the hospital and waited while they ran tests\u2026 they were the longest hours of my life, I swear\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Long story short\u2026 he had leukemia.<\/p>\n<p>He had a fifty-fifty chance of making it\u2026 and, of course, we swore to fight along with him, to do everything we could to keep him alive\u2026<\/p>\n<p>But on the inside, I was grappling with this horrible dilemma\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Should I let my love for that baby grow inside me, even if he could very possibly die at any moment?\u00a0 Or should I keep a safe distance, guarding myself against whatever might happen?<br \/>\nIt was not really a dilemma\u2026 the truth is I knew I couldn\u2019t do it; I couldn\u2019t love that sick baby\u2026 I didn\u2019t know how.<\/p>\n<p>My wife, unlike me, put up no barriers; she just loved the baby with all her heart\u2026 And that made it even harder for me to pretend, to conceal the fact that I didn\u2019t feel anything for him.<\/p>\n<p>But no one noticed it\u2026 I was by his side at the hospital every single night, I insisted on a second mortgage to pay for his treatment&#8230; I cried whenever he was in pain\u2026 although it was probably more for myself\u2026<\/p>\n<p>At the end the baby, my son, made it\u2026 the illness receded, like a miracle, and he started to grow as a normal child<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019s now four. His name is Eric, after me.<\/p>\n<p>I still can\u2019t get myself to love him.&#8221;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Are you an actor or director interested in using this monologue? Contact us in ABOUT MONOLOGY!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0Copyright Abel Gonzalez 2016<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>EXTENDED VERSION [A man in his mid-forties. He wears a suit unbuttoned at the collar, without a tie. He appears stressed, even tormented. There are big bags under his eyes] &#8220;My wife and I were trying to conceive for years. When all the other options failed we resorted to adoption. After months of waiting, we &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/agoodhurt.com\/monology\/the-barricade\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">THE BARRICADE<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":286,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"video","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"__cvm_playback_settings":[],"__cvm_video_id":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[72,22,41],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-video","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-death","category-love","category-video","post_format-post-format-video"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>THE BARRICADE - Monology<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My wife and I were trying to conceive for years. When all the other options failed we resorted to adoption.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/agoodhurt.com\/monology\/the-barricade\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"THE BARRICADE - Monology\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My wife and I were trying to conceive for years. 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